The world has been making me ask, "Who am I singing to? Where am I migrating?" I guess it's not just the world making me feel that way, it's me. I'm also the problem. It's a dark place that causes so much anxiety and I think we all need to sit down and look at a sunset and listen to something peaceful, or something that reminds us of when we were kids without these worries. I've had such a short fuse lately, or even for the last 5 or 6 years.
I had the opportunity to go on a weekend trip with some life long friends. We are all still young, but not kids any more. In fact, one of my kids is an actual adult. We went to a club to let loose and immediately found a place that had a live band playing songs from when we were the most idiotic, impulsive, and beautiful teenagers. It was like being a little bit young again. It reminded me that the world may be somehow missing that right now. Maybe we aren't going back enough to remember how awesome it was to be a kid. Maybe we aren't putting in the time to know just how even more amazing it is to be who we are right now.
I had a lot of fun, but Laura and I just wanted to get to our kids as fast as we could. We would hug them tonight and watch the last remaining episodes of "Stranger Things," and would eventually have to hold the kids while they wept at the ending. While watching the blue lights flicker on the screen in this basement in this city that sleeps, I looked to my left on the couch and saw my entire life and dreams curled up together with me. That is all I need. I just wish everyone had it, or appreciated it. I wish everyone could experience the awful weight that loving someone else so much puts in your guts. I am obsessed with my family and friends. So much so that all of my friends have become my family.
Thanks for reading...Z