Saturday, March 24, 2012

Stepping off Part 2

"So what happens now?"

"What do you want to happen?"

"I want my life to mean something to someone. My whole life has been about trying to make myself happy and I found myself on this ledge knowing that I haven't done a single thing to inspire anyone to do anything good. I complain about everything. Politics, religion, taxes, war, the dishwasher constantly breaking...but never once did anything about any one of them. I am always just talking and half the time I cannot even decipher what I am saying."

"So jumping off this ledge was the answer instead of just simply doing things different? I asked myself that question too when I stepped off and found the invisible ground. I fell about 10 feet down and slammed onto what I thought was the pavement and my final feeling. Then I got up and looked down and was a little relieved. I knew all along that I was taking a really illogical route to freeing myself from myself. The problem was that I had always trusted in myself. This step off the ledge left me with no answers. I stepped off and gravity failed. There was more to life than what I could see, even the ground beneath my feet."

"So what now though. Nothing has changed. I still got nothing. I still wrecked everything that loved me. But here I am standing on this invisible ground in the night with some guy I don't know, wondering if you are an angel or a demon."

"If I were and angel, I would have caught you. If I were a demon, I would have pushed you. I am a person who walked up those steps at a certain time and found a guy that has never trusted in anything but himself trying to find the guts to step off that ledge. I saw you and I saw myself."

"You mentioned that Peter started sinking when he saw the waves engulfing him. I kinda see the waves man. I am figuring out now that I am standing on top of the world with only a clear view below me. It's starting to freak me out."

"Peter began to sink because of doubt. But did Jesus let him drown? He put out His hand and pulled him up. Faith is trusting that God is in control even when we doubt and let the world bring fear into our hearts. Acts of faith have never been strong ones, but extremely vulnerable ones, mixed with intense emotion. You think Abraham raised that knife to his only child without intense crisis of the mind? He was a mess unlike any other. He doubted for sure, but took the leap anyway. This was faith. He was rewarded. You have been rewarded. So I say what you do now is stop and think. Forget quickly what you have always done in the past and let God answer your questions. Walk in the light of day and connect yourself to something different. We have choices. No matter what your history has given you, you have the choice to be who you want to be and see things the way you want to. You are free. You are starting over. You are forgiven."

"Who are you?"

"Does it matter right now? Right now I am only a witness to what God has done in you. I am a humbled witness."


Thanks for reading...Z