Going back to my last blog about covering our eyes to the scary things...I have been thinking about it and another thing stands out about it. Possibly
the biggest thing we cover our eyes to is ourselves. Maybe it is fear of what we know is underneath all of what you put out into the world, or maybe it is because the thought of such a person is revolting to you and you simply will not believe you have become what you have become...someone you never wanted to be.
It isn't at all what you see when you look in the mirror. People see what they want to see when they look into those. It's more about what you see when you lay your head on the pillow at night and you cannot keep it from surfacing. I realize my worst nightmares in the vulnerability and silence of the night. It keeps me awake sometimes, thinking that I am not what God is leading me to. I am not. This is a fact. I resist, like a baby that is so tired, but tries with all of his might not to fall asleep. It usually isn't about misfortune or bad luck, it is usually self sabotage succeeding. Sometimes we think we are too good and sometimes we think we are too bad. There are problems with both thoughts.
Too good: This is pride. We aren't too good. Our good deeds are soiled menstral clothes to God. Nothing we do is good. We are no better than the guy that beat up that old woman, we are just different with different circumstances and leading from God. There is simply no excuse ever, for self-righteous behavior.
Too bad: This is pride. We are thinking too much about ourselves. This is destructive because it helps no one. We cannot see with God's eyes, but we can take His word for it...He gave His Son for us because He loves us. We are worth more than we may think. Our mistakes do not have to ruin us and become more mistakes. We can ask forgiveness and walk away from them, with assurance they are forgiven and forgotten, at least by God. To some people, we owe apologies.
The point is to take the blinders off if they are present and active in distracting you from God's path.
Thanks for reading. - Z