Friday, February 17, 2012

Right Now

Maybe soon I will be creative again, but right now I am just tasking. I am doing the things that life right now requires me to do to keep my family from gasping for air. It isn't fun or pretty. It requires mandatory showers when I get home and an 8:30 bedtime. I get home from work and can only think of my pillow. I think to myself, "I want to write!!!!!!" But find myself in bed dreaming before I can realize I am hearing the alarm for tomorrow go off at 4:30. Here is a short list of things I miss.

Working in sweatpants without supervision.
Going to the bathroom when I want to, not when I get a chance to.
Having a lunchtime revolved around hunger, and not afternoon medications.
Speaking to my boss because I desire to, not because he is calling for the 10th time before lunch.
Typing things and being creative...tonight my hands were in both blood and crap at the same time.
I miss my students so much. So much.
Above all, I miss my family. I can see why Laura has always wanted to work from home and been jealous that I did.

That being said....I am dong well. I am working really hard at something I had no experience at, and it's going really well. I am competing...and winning. My manager tells everyone she can that she is proud of me and introduces me to hot shots. The food is terrible, so I bring my lunch. I use the elevator to go up and the stairs to go down. I have a problem with delegation to my aides because I have always had problems with delegation. It isn't pride I don't think, it's guilt, because I always believe I can physically do it myself. I miss my wife and kids and forget to help with the day to day things that my loving wife does without being told too. I'm gonna be working on that. I feel good about myself, like I have accomplished something. It is really nice to punch the clock and not have to take my stress home with me every night. Except sometimes I do. But most times I don't, but Southeast Detroit is a rough place to work without feeling bad.

That's all for now. I have been up for 19 hours.


Thanks for reading...Z