I have been learning Final Cut Pro for the last week. One of the most complicated programs for sure. I see why most stick to iMovie and call it a day. I have been practicing on the footage from the movie I wrote and filmed, but
I am feeling like myself now. I forgot how I feel since I have been medicated to cure who I am. I like who I am when I can feel things. I like me much better. Not naive, I know there are gonna be these grueling lows that leave me comatose, but I like that feeling better than just functioning.
A few short and vague differences between
I want to go to bed early like a grown up.
I don't really have much of a problem getting out of bed.
Mood is stabilized.
I feel flatlined.
I want to watch the sun rise before I go to bed.
I would rather create than compete against the number crunching
I notice the little things, like chipped paint on an old bicycle or the flower missing a petal.
I want to go outside again.
Most importantly: I have missed this intense feeling of helplessness to save myself or anything around me. I am completely reliant on God. When I have been emptied out, God fills me up. There is nothing better than being filled by God. Nothing.
To leave a comment, click on the specific blog title and the comment form will be at the bottom of the page.