1 Kings 19:13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"
What was he doing there? Was it fear? He heard all of the prophets of God were being slaughtered. Was it anger? He was rejected for his belief in a One True God. Was is rejection? No one has ever been good enough. He searched for God in the elements of thunder. He looked for God to open up and split the earth in pieces to speak to him. He looked for real, definitive answers. He got bored waiting up on that mountain. He fell asleep. Like they did in the garden waiting on Jesus. Like we all do. Every time he would get his hopes up at what we would call a "Natural disaster," he stood at attention expecting to hear the undeniable voiced of the God He served... the very same God I serve, He was left disappointed. Elijah was a man, just like me. He was messy too, full of sin and mistakes. Full of doubt and fear. Full of hatred and anger. He was looking for His God. The only one he could run to.
God sent him sterile signs. I think he sat down on the rocks beaten up in his own spirit and gave up. After all of these things, God does not speak to me? NOW He chooses to be silent, when I really need Him to speak? He wasn't asking for proof, he was asking for His savior to save. He didn't hear God's voice the way he wanted and I think he just about gave up hope. This happens: "Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, 4 while he himself went a day’s journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” 5 Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep."
Then God shows up in a whisper. His eyes open slowly. Something is happening. God is speaking. God has heard me crying. My prayers have reached His throne and He is here gently speaking to His child. No fire. No earthquakes. No tsunamis. Just God and me. How it was always meant to be. God is big enough to be anyone's "Just you and me." God is huge and here He is taking a real interest in the fears of Elijah. "Why are you here?" God knew. But did Elijah? Maybe Elijah was just scared and needed his only hope. Maybe he lost faith in the sight of fear. Maybe he just wanted a friend at a time when no one would go near him in fear of sharing in his death. Any way you want to perceive that day, God came to him when he needed Him too, even if it wasn't how he expected Him to come.
God rarely comes how we expect Him to.
Thanks for reading...Z