Saturday, November 27, 2010
Thanksgiving. One of the few admirable holidays left. Somehow over the years it has not been tainted by commercial media. It is about thanks and this year's Thanksgiving was spent on the verge of tears. It has been a rough year. I have survived something I never believed I could survived. I told my wife in late December last year that I would find a way to be OK. At the time, I did not believe it. I was lying. But here I sit, very much alive. Changed in many ways. There are people to thank...people that kept me alive. Here is a short list, even though God sent a lot of people to help me through.
God. You brought me things that are unthinkable. You gave me family that never belonged to me and they were there to pick me off of the ground. You are the very strength that picks me off of my face.
My wife- you suffered as much as I did. You are the strong one. You kept it together while I fell into piles. You are my guardian. You are my angel.
My kids- You reminded me that there is innocence left and that God values those that have faith like a child.
Mom- I know how much you pray for me. You always have. We are very much alike and you see where I hurt.
Jason my brother- You cried with me, not for me. That meant a lot to me. It meant a lot that you knew how much Will meant to me.
JoAnn- You help me to think clearly. You remind me that Will is not missing from me. He is here in my heart. You say it in almost every conversation we have. It helps to hear from a person who loved him more than words could express.
Joe- We are what is left. Things won't be the same little brother. We will always be missing someone, but the Dead End Kids will prevail. We will fight keep fighting.
Audrey- You have a strength and heart that people don't often see. I see it. You are golden. Don't stop caring so much, no matter what this world does to you. I know what Will meant to you. He was special. I am sorry.
Jim- You have always been there for a kid that didn't have much. Never knew a dad and had no idea how to be a man. Thank you. I needed a hug standing in front of my brother who laid in a box never made for him. You gave me love.
Andy- You have hell in front of you and still had time to comfort your big brother. You were never hard to find and were always listening. You cried with me on my shoulder. I will never forget who you are to me.
Every single person who gave me comfort- I read the things you said. I took them to heart and believe them. I praise God for you because you were strength in a time I had none.
This is Thanksgiving. I really understand for the first time ever what it means to be thankful on this day. My God is great and thank Him for everything.
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I'm a simple person to figure out. I usually write it all down here. I try not to pretend to be anything. I am what I am and that's good enough until it's not anymore. I want my kids to remember me smiling when I'm gone. Integrity is the very basis of a good life. I love my God, my wife, my kids, my friends, and I try to love all of the rest of you.