Friday, October 29, 2010

Super Bad

I was a little kid. I had a huge imagination. I thought that stabbing walnut forks into the arm of my mom's best friend's dead husband's favorite chair was a good idea. It made me a very nice little throne to sit on while we waited for them to finish with their endless talking. However, it crushed my mom's best friend and embarrassed my mom. I wasn't a bad kid I don't think, but I was a challenge. I wasn't easy. It took me a long to time to realize how hard it must have been for my mom to raise two kids on her own, not to mention, one of them that tested everything. Everything.

Here are a list of things I should not have done, but are not really genuinely sorry for that put my mom into panic attacks. Some of these she will just learn about as she reads this.

1. Pulled a knife on a kid who was part of a rival tweener street gang.
2. Mooned my teacher and got suspended.
3. Shot out people's windows with a BB gun.
4. Caught fish and put them in the video store drop box every weekend.
5. Started a forest fire by my house.
6. Announced that I had gotten my ex-girlfriend pregnant at my mom's family reunion. She thought it was a joke. It wasn't. I did that one passive aggressively on purpose.

There are so many more, but I don't want to kill my mother today. Anyways, it isn't mother's day, but I sure do appreciate you.


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