Tuesday, September 28, 2010


Then you will know what I've become.

You go to this high school reunion and see the people that you envied the most and it occurs to you just how blessed you were to be a dork.  Because dorks have feelings that others don't understand. What is a dork anyway? Who invented the word to describe the person that does not dress how you do? Doesn't spend $100 on a pair of ripped jeans? Doesn't drive the most beautiful car your mommy bought you? A dork, I gather, is a person who does not fit in. So I guess I am not a dork. Not because I don't have serious mental and emotional deformities, but because I have put on better defense mechanisms.

At first glance, I will try to overload you with charisma. The second wave will come with humor. The third with bravado. If you can stand to get closer, you will break through to arrogance and pride. But you will also see a guy that is broken. You will find a guy that won't call you when he is down, but you can read it in his eyes.

I keep reading by accident, these passages that tell me that God is made perfect in my weaknesses. This is never an accident. Any time God's Word hits your eyes, it is no accident. So it tells me something that cannot be argued away with logic and life experience. When I become less, He becomes more. He takes the shards of glass that fall from the surface of my frame and reflects himself in them like an exploded firework. Life as a rocket. It takes the shell to be broken to expose the beauty of what's inside.

People shouldn't judge and those being judged, shouldn't judge the judger, because we all judge. There is something always buried beneath the surface that is visible in our minds, that we would never want another human to know. Sometimes the skeletons cooperate and stay in that closet and sometimes, there is nothing you can do to keep them covered. Be real is what I say, but this is coming from a hypocrite of being real.


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