Saturday, September 18, 2010
Photo courtesy of powerfulnightmare
The world is pretty under the lights of the sky. We would lay under a big tree in the front yard and stare into the night sky and say things we would never have dreamed of telling another living soul. We would get up and light the wick and watch the sparks follow a long line of string until it ignited the small engine taped to the inside of a paper towel core turned glorious rocket. The fire would spit colored lights and find the early morning chill descending on our car windshields.
Kids do think they are invincible. They play reckless games and do crazy things because life is too short not to. We didn't understand responsibility or commitment. We understood what this moment was like though... so we chose to live in that. People think I am crazy when I tell stories of things I did as a child and teenager. Lately I have been questioning whether I am or not, but I do know that whatever the reason...I would not take back one stupid thing I did. We were invincible. Nothing and no one could tear us apart. Things change. We grow up and those things that we always thought were the center of our existence become things that sit in the back of your mind as you deal with the things life has to deal you. You get talked out of that zeal and that passion for life sometimes. You go from this kid who people could not stand to be apart from, to this man that works too hard to pay bills that are too high. What it looks like from under that tree is a distant memory now. The stars hide behind the clouds whenever we look up. When did growing up become so hard? Before now, I never felt that tightness in my chest, that inability to take full breathes. We become accustomed to breathing half way because that is all our brain tells our bodies we have time for anymore. It was fun to be melodramatic. It was fun to get a broken heart. It was fun to get fired. We would plan it and do it on purpose just because it is funny to get fired when you don't have any need for a job. Now we fight for them.
What is your favorite thing in this life to do and why?
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I'm a simple person to figure out. I usually write it all down here. I try not to pretend to be anything. I am what I am and that's good enough until it's not anymore. I want my kids to remember me smiling when I'm gone. Integrity is the very basis of a good life. I love my God, my wife, my kids, my friends, and I try to love all of the rest of you.