Tuesday, August 10, 2010


I thank God every few months for the learning curve some of us need. Some people get it right away and don't forget it. Others like me get it, then forget it, then get it, then forget it in circles until we stumble.

Sometimes I need a pinched nerve in my neck for a week to remind me of the blessings God has lavished on me. To remind me that I am in control of nothing. Things get really busy and at times I don't think I can continue, but then comes an SUV to knock some sense into me, or nerve damage, or pressure from outside forces. They remind me that I am losing my way. I am wandering aimlessly and have forgotten to follow the cloak of Christ closely so I don't lose him in the noise.

So I find a happy place and go there to black out that noise. To get alone with my God. Apologize for forgetting about Him from day to day, throw my burdens on Him, and rest easy in the truth that God has me firmly in His hand. God is not trying to trick me, He isn't testing me because He delights in watching me fail time and time again. He tests me because if He doesn't I may forget about my need for Him altogether. The simple truth is that I cannot even breathe without Him. I have nothing. Nothing. I am a pauper, and a vagrant. I am helpless to care for myself, much less my family. He is everything that has ever been any good in me. Forgetting about that is like forgetting you are blind and trying to drive. I will crash every time. And so will you.


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