Sitting in front of fires has a certain effect on people. We look up at the stars above us and remember that the world is so small. We are so small. Our problems, our lives, our very existence. I am trying to have fun and relax. I have been under so much stress in school and needed this few days up north to unwind. Unwinding however, allows the things buried beneath to surface. I could really use some time to talk to my friend who is somewhere far better than here. Everything beautiful reminds me of him. I always thought of Will that way. I wanted to be like him and now the man I looked up to so much is gone from here. He is there and I am here. I have memories, but they will never take place of calling my best friend when I need him. Celebrating life's most important moments with him. Growing old and sharing a room at the nursing home. I hate reality sometimes. It can be so cruel and nasty.
Sometimes we get to have everything we need, but sooner or later in a dying world, some of what we need goes away while we are sleeping on Christmas eve. Sometimes it all comes crashing down. This doesn't mean God isn't good, it means life isn't fair.
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