Thursday, July 15, 2010
Kinship. What does it mean to you? What does it really mean to be family? What should you look like when you are being a good brother or sister or father etc.? I don't think that family is limited to those with the same blood flowing through their vessels. Yes, there is the family of Christ, but there is another kind of family. There are some that you are bonded to for life. Good times and bad, you have them and they have you. Even if you piss each other off systematically and often, when push comes to shove there isn't a weapon that can keep you from them. Joe. Andy. Outside of my wife and children, there are no two people left here that I am closer to. Will is gone. But when I look at Joe, we both look different to each other, we both realize the other's pain. When I look at Andy, he looks at me the same way and he didn't know Will that well. He looks at me like that because he feels me. He hurts because I do. There is nothing on this earth more valuable than a friend that shares your hurt. Most people try to solve it and give advice. Some walk away and try to avoid you in fear of saying something to make it worse. Others overcompensate for the awkwardness and act stupid around you. Then there are the ones that step into the fire with you knowing they are about to get burned too. They walk in because the thought of not doing so would be worse than death.
The world goes on. It keeps spinning at the same speed even when you aren't traveling at full speed, or even half speed. People move on. They get over it. But not everyone. There are those that see it in our eyes. They aren't fooled by the make-up or the clown bit. They have been in it too. When you have been in it, you recognize others who have too. You see it in their eyes, because they look like yours. This society of people that have no idea how they are still moving at all. They just thank God that they are. They get kicked around for a bit, throw pity parties, listen to music that makes it worse, break things when they want to destroy something beautiful, kill any and all prospects of joy, fight every force that pushes against them, and find places that make you feel not so alone.
These brothers stand firm with me. They rally me to get back up. They put fire right back into my eyes. They hold me together. I guess, I just want to say thank you. Thank you God. Thank you Laura. Thank you Caeden and Aevry. Thank you Joe. Thank you Andy. Thank you Jo Ann. Thank you Jim. Thank you mom. Thank you to every person who has prayed for me or wept for me. I have more than one mom. I have more than one brother. And there is a guy in scrubs who has always been a father to me. Thanks.
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I'm a simple person to figure out. I usually write it all down here. I try not to pretend to be anything. I am what I am and that's good enough until it's not anymore. I want my kids to remember me smiling when I'm gone. Integrity is the very basis of a good life. I love my God, my wife, my kids, my friends, and I try to love all of the rest of you.