Friday, June 4, 2010
We are conditioned from infancy to smile, even if we don't feel like it. Mom pulls out the camera and tells you to do what? Smile. Why? Because no one wants a picture of an angry kid. No one wants to see a pic of a tantrum. It reflects badly on us. When we cry, there is always someone there to tell us to stop and calm down, maybe try to get us to smile. It is good to smile. It is better to smile and mean it. Otherwise, you begin to feel like a clown. I did. I even painted them all over my walls next to the eyeballs just after high school. I felt stupid. I felt fake. We take that conditioning we learn as children and put on these faces as adults. We want to be someone else sometimes, so we just be that person, even if it isn't who we really are or how we really feel.
"You think you know someone."
We hear this a lot. Usually when a person shows their true colors or at least their darker shades. Suddenly everything we thought about that person is dashed and the trust is gone. Usually this is when we reconsider a friendship or relationship.
It isn't easy to take off the make-up. It feels like you are taking your own flesh with it. But I bet, once you get it all off and try living in your own skin for a while and confront your demons with the strength of God, you just might be able to really smile.
I'm a simple person to figure out. I usually write it all down here. I try not to pretend to be anything. I am what I am and that's good enough until it's not anymore. I want my kids to remember me smiling when I'm gone. Integrity is the very basis of a good life. I love my God, my wife, my kids, my friends, and I try to love all of the rest of you.