I was laying on top of a dryer, basking like an Iguana in the heat of it's surface. I was 10 or 11 and I was crying. I remember singing Yesterday from the Beatles to myself and wondering how I was going to make it out alive, or if I could at all.
Life for a pre-tweener can be a lonely place and a dreadful existence. It was for me, but then again, it was also miserable for my tweener, teen, and young adult years, so maybe I have been conditioned.
I was always looking for heat sources. I would sleep on the heater beneath the table, or the dryer. This is still the case today. I do have no idea why I do this. It might be some complex comforting mechanism or something, or maybe I just like heat. I used to get made fun of because when I worked at a factory, I would spend my breaks in the winter outside standing by the huge vent that exhausted the machine heat into the cold sky.
I prayed on that dryer for mercy. God answered and I knew I wasn't alone for a moment. This was a different dryer 10 years later. I was remembering the time I had spent as a kid laying on those heat sources and God allowed me to see that He was there with me. That I was always going to be ok and that I was safe in His arms my entire life. I think He has been trying to tell me that lately too.
God is good. We really suffer some hard times in this life. Some of us seem to go through hell and back again.
Phil. 1:12 Now I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel. 13 As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ.
Our suffering is not forever and God is our protector. I am covered in scars, but filled with God's love and grace. I am drenched in blood and torn to pieces, but I have been touched with the finger of God. I have been sifted and strained then poured out in front of everyone, but God uses what remains to His glory always.
I am blessed in the midst of tragedy and triumph and I will remain.
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