Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Cost

So I have been feeling better lately. Really better. I have been sad at times, but I can shake it off. I am an easier person to be around. My friends prefer this Zombie to That one. However, not much good in life is free. Salvation is. Love is. A good mood, only for some people. The medication I am on currently has some really major side effects that mess up my day to day. Real deal breaking ones. So here is the dilemma: I can keep on the meds and feel better with these deal breaking side effects and have drastic life changes. I could stop taking the meds, accept my sadness at times, and move forward. Or Give them another month or so and see what happens.

The pros:
1. I feel better
2. I can shake off sad thoughts
3. My friends like me more
4. I bring my wife less anxiety

The Cons:
1. In some ways I feel worse
2. Some side effects won't go away
3. Drugs are expensive
4. Drugs can and usually shorten your life even if they improve the quality of

I think I will give them another couple of weeks. Please pray because here is the best case scenario: I get better and the side effects go away. The drug company gives me the pills for free because they like me. Sad thoughts run from me. My wife gets to keep her sanity. And I live to be 109.


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  1. Unfortunately, that's the dilemma w/so many people. I say quality of life wins. You may not need them forever. You just went through some major trauma, and if it's working, it may be worth it. Sometimes a good Dr. will give you samples if he knows you can't afford it. Just a thought. Glad you're feeling a bit better.

  2. I'd say you need to stick with them for a while longer yet mate. You need some stability, when you get that then think about reducing them.

  3. It's way too early to judge your body's response. Give it time. Do what needs to be done. Find something to laugh about. Hug your kids. Kiss your wife, etc... Keep talking. Sing. Migrate to a better place, even if it's inches at a time.

  4. That's a tough call. I am really considering meds myself. It is a long story , but the great darkness is eating me alive right now and life doesn't taste the same as it used to. I see myself drowning into this pit. And I am scared of what I am seeing. But, I too worry about the side effects or how I may change in taking meds. It is a very tough call.

    I will pray. I can't really pray for myself right now. Can't seem to get the words out. But, I still pray for you. And for Will's family - for all of you. Because in the end whatever darkness I am facing could never amount to what you all have been through.

  5. Yep I would give it a little more time, this is only temporary..but it will help you alot I believe.