Tears today. Inside of a box is another box that keeps the remains of my brother together. We said some words that meant everything to us and walked away to our cars and drove away. I tried not to focus on the weeping coming from behind my seat as my son sat destroyed. I watched every tree limb as we passed through the winding maze and out through the gates that closed behind us shortly after.
Absolutely no stars out tonight. Nothing. The night is empty and quiet. People are in their beds sleeping, getting energized for another work week. Kids are excited because tomorrow there is no school. TV's flicker unnoticed and lamp bulbs dim, flare, and dim again. All the while, the guy I slept next to throughout high school is inside of a box. Just like on Christmas Eve. I know he isn't in there. He just isn't here fully either. And all remains silent.
I want to hire mourners like they commonly did in Biblical times. I want to get real wailers too, ones with strong pipes. I want to march them all out with me into the streets and scream together. I want the entire city to know what we lost. I want them all to weep with me. I want to end all silence in these streets. I want to wake up the neighbors kids. I don't want them to hurt, I just want them to understand what it means to care so much about another person. If everyone cared like that, most of the horror of this world wouldn't happen. But mostly I just want to shout so that he can here it. I am sick of wining about it here, but it is all I got.
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