My prayer right now is that if I ever wander back that God would be right there with another SUV.
When you give up on things, and allow a negative attitudes to set in, reality is hidden from you. You begin to only be able to see the world for the way you believe it is. You only see the bad. One of my favorite movie quotes is from Vanilla Sky when Jason Lee says, "The sweet is only sweet because of the bitter." Well that can be said the other way around too. I think I forgot that living in the goodness and grace of God is so sweet that it helps us to recognize the bitter when we see it. The difference lies in which reality you want to be living in (Sweet or Bitter).
I feel like I don't know where I have been for the last several years. I feel like I did as a new believer. Amazed at the power and grace of my God, and hungry to learn everything I can about Him. I feel like I have been given another chance to not allow deadly thoughts to creep in again.
I have been praying every night for a couple for years for repairs. That God would repair: (Here is a repair key for below)
My body- Physical
Spirit- Harmed from my own sin and grievance of the Spirit of God
Mind/emotional- Things broken in me from others that I cannot get out from under.
With one drunk driver, one SUV, one bicycle, one idiot on said bicycle, and one homeless guy, God sweeps healing hands over all areas.
Body- Obviously some things are given to us to glorify God and will remain even if we do hate them. But for our own good. I was drilled. Absolutely bludgeoned and here I sit unharmed. If you think it is coincidence, fine. But I simply cannot.
Spirit- A reminder that God loves me enough to keep me around and is still at work in me, reminds me that my sins are forgiven and that nothing will ever separate me from His love. God swept over me and reminded me that I do not have to hold onto my sin that causes more sin. I can let it go and walk away from it.
Mind/emotional- Forgiveness. I am making myself miserable holding on to these feelings and anger. It isn't worth it. This is not life to the fullest, this is not life at all. So I have been telling people how I feel about them and thanking them for the things they have done to speak truth into my life. God doesn't intend that we live with this pain when He is waiting to heal it.
I needed an SUV. If you search your hearts, you may find you could use one too. If so, pray for a smashing.
I am new. I am singing.
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