Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Run Away

I went on a trip up north when I was young. My mom was always looking for things for me to do that men do to make up for not having a dad around, so she would ask random guys whom I had never really met before if they could take me up north with them. This one guy had a son about a year or so older than me. He was a divorce kid, so he was spending the weekend with his father. I made fast friends with this kid as he showed me how to ride a dirt bike and hunt snakes. At the end of the trip, he told me he was going to run away from home. I didn't believe him at all, what 12 year old really runs away? So I invited him to come to my house when he ran away and stay in my 4 foot by 4 foot shed. I would bring him food if he could survive the heat and be quiet. I never thought he would do it. The next day I got a call from him from a pay phone 10 miles away, 25 from where he lived. He wanted to know where to go from there. Luckily I knew and I met him at the park across from where I lived. He had only a back pack with one set of clothes and some water. Andy and I had no idea what to do. Do we tell, surely we weren't so stupid as to actually keep him in the shed were we?

We decided to keep him in the shed. It lasted only a few hours before I secretly went inside and told my mom what had happened and she called the kid's dad.

I have no idea the reason or the home life of the kid. I only know that every picture I had seen of a family was broken in one way or another. I think that is the main area of interest to the enemy. To kill the family, the structure of everything that resembles God. It has been working. Marriage is viewed as something that can be walked away from, something that is not final, because it can always be left behind if need be. Or if the "Love" just poof, goes away. All the while culture shows us that life with split homes are healthy and sometimes advantageous to the children and are a viable option if the couple wants to split.

A split family is never advantageous to anyone. I realize that there are many cases of abuse, or one just leaving another that require splitting. I do not condemn that nor would Jesus. I do believe that it is impossible to fall out of love, being that love is an action and a commitment, not a fuzzy feeling we get. I believe that you should not marry if you cannot make a lifetime commitment to the other as the vows clearly state in the death do you part section. God hates divorce. It says so in His Word. I believe we should hate divorce too. I think that more consideration should be taken for the children suffering in the wake of our decisions.

Like I said before, I do not condemn anyone, I am in no place to do so. I had a child in high school and wasn't able to work it out with her mother and now my daughter has to suffer that consequence. An awful penalty she pays for my crime. I just feel so bad when I get teenager after teenager coming through my youth ministry who has been torn to shreds by their parents. I also feel badly for the people who have been through a divorce, because I know it hurts them too.

Marriage is a picture of the union between God and us. The Bible calls us the bride and Jesus the groom, who will one day live together in harmony. This is a relationship that will never be separated. Marriage was meant to model that.

Before I married Laura, I was speaking to my mother in law about marriage. She was joking about how she would kill my father in law before she left him. She said something really cool to me. She said, "You don't get divorced." It was simple and I don't think she would ever remember it now, but she has been married forever. They instilled this in Laura as well, to never give up. Marriage is hard and it hurts often, but it gets better when we fight for it, not when we leave it behind.


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  1. Hey Adam. I wanted you to know that I've been following your blog and I really enjoy your insights.

    I wished that more people realized that love is a choice, not a fuzzy feeling, and had the strength of character to apply this to their lives and marriages. That would be pretty amazing.

    "You don't get divorced". I like that too.

    Anyway ... keep up the cool musings. This is Stacie, sister of Justin, signing off ...

  2. I remember that day like it was yesterday. That kid traveled so far to get to the shed. We hid him for awhile. I never knew it was you who told! haha! I remember we brought him candy bars to eat and we showed him a stink bomb we had constructed. I never really understood why he ran away....now it makes sense.

  3. As the child of a broken family can I just say that I wish everyone understood the damage divorce can do to a child.

    My husband's parents are also divorced.

    We are in this forever. There is no other choice. Even when it is hard, we know in the end it is worth it.