Saturday, November 8, 2008

Ooh, Listen To That

So my little brother Andy found my blog and commented on the Deathstone band we made when we were kids and it got we to thinking about when we were little. I thought I would give you a brief history over our shared experiences:

1. We were almost abducted in a video store parking lot. The burglar was thwarted by my heads up rolling up of the window on his arm which he barely got free.
2. We ruled the "Balls" area of Chucky Cheese by holding other kids under for long periods of time.
3. I broke a kid's arm who picked on him when I was 12.
4. We ran away together to the woods overnight while sleeping in a tent in the backyard.
5. I had a crush on his mom, as did every other kid on the block.
6. We demolished his parents newly finished bathroom.
7. Made pee snow cones from his Snoopy Snow Cone machine and gave them to his sister and friends.
8. We made a back yard child fight club, and cornered the little kids as they beat each other up. (We were just kids too, so don't call the cops yet)
9. We started a neighborhood thug street gang, called The Brat Patrol, named after the movie.
10. We opened a fraudulent ninja training school, charging kids from the block $5 dollars for training. The training included them getting beat up and not being allowed to cry. Walking across the top beam of the swing set without falling. Pulling a knife on another kid. Saying bad words into a tape recorder (This was in case the kid tried to tell on us, we could show their parents their bad word tape). They would also have to endure a really bad day. This day was the day that everyone would be mean to them and exclude them from all fun activities. If they survived the day without crying, they would move up a belt. We taught them moves we made up and holds to put people in that were based off of WWF. We made money, they got training, it was a win/win for everyone.

Oh and I forgot to mention the song we had in Deathstone called "Listen to That." In the song, one solitary note would be plucked on the guitar, and we would say after a dramatic pause, "Ooh, listen to that." That was the whole song.

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  1. Ummm, when you say he's your "little brother" and "you had a crush on his mom" in the same post it's a little creepy! People may think she's your mom. ---Clarification: They are as close as brothers and spent endless days together since Andy was 6 weeks old at Zombie's momma's daycare.

  2. "Listen to That" could be a hit.

  3. ahhh....the good ole days. This post brought back so many memories.....oh, and you are right....Halloween will never be the same. You are so lucky to be blessed with such a kick butt family though. You sure do know how to pick them! How did I luck out, getting a brother, when I never thought I would have one. I would like to add a few stories. We used to hang with Paul Asenmachers kid.....our favorite picher was hands down Dan Petry......we loved Jose Canseco and Ricky Henderson....we both rocked the coolest Stadia shoes. We once built a maze out of little tikes appliances......and charged kids a couple strands of hair to go into the maze......we then got in trouble when momma Linda found our bucket full of hair!

  4. you were so sadistic, but at least you had the sense to make a few dollars at the same time.

    i too trained in the art of ninja but never had the chance to try out my moves for real. i wish i would've known about this ninja school of yours back then.

  5. You sure have lived a hardcore life.

    I like it for some odd reason.

  6. Wow and I thought when I threw a bench at my gym teacher when she called me out on a foul ball during PE baseball was hardcore

    PS ... you should have seen how fast the kids dived off the bench when I started to lift it.

  7. Oh my goodness gracious! Your post had me laughing out loud!

    Oh, the crazy things kids do!!!