Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Gift Of Opening Up One's Stupid Mouth

I have a wonderful habit of making a fool out of myself in most situations. I don't know if it is a talent, a curse, or a Spiritual Gift from God, but it exists. Ask my wife. I am the guy that she cannot take anywhere. I have already told you about the "I like him so much, I want to fight him incident." There are so many stories of me saying the oddest thing that could be said in that particular moment. The other day, I was eating with my wife in a restaurant and we were talking about going on a diet. Laura said, "Does 20 pounds each sound good?" I said, "For you, not for me." I did not mean it how it sounds. I meant that if 20 pounds was what she wanted, I did not want the same. 20 pounds is too much for me because I do not want to reverse the last 2 years of work at the gym. I am not trying to be an idiot I assure you. My brain is an idiot. "I didn't say it, my brain said it" is what Caeden says when he says something similar. Like when he describes African Americans as chocolate people. I do that stuff too, so I am afraid this little "Gift" is hereditary.

On a side note, my tooth hurts. I had to miss church. Sorry Jesus.


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  1. at least your a@$ wasn't chapped like mine the other day. something as simple as walking has never been so painful. this was during a 12 hour shift at work where all i do is walk and stand. ... i wonder if waxing my cheekies would help this problem.

    awesome party though. the kiddies were nutty.

  2. TMI...I'm not helping with that. Any takers?

  3. The old talk before you think trick. We're all guilty. 20 pounds seems like a lot, though. That's around 8-10 kgs isn't it?

  4. Caeden is one of my favorite people in the entire world. He rocks!

  5. Yeah Kevin.... TMI

    Bye the way I was eating a salad when he agreed

  6. Laura,

    Thank God you weren't neck deep in ribs or wings or something ... then you could of screamed at the top of your lungs "What are you insinuating?" while spraying bbq/hot wing sauce everywhere.

    I also have the "gift"

  7. This is a conversation that totally would have happened between me and the Rockstar.