Saturday, November 29, 2008


One of my good friends is in from out of town today, and I am supposed to hook up with him and some of my other friends later. Laura has a friend from out of town here too, so tonight we part ways. Thanksgiving was really good. We did Meals on Wheels in the morn. then went to my moms house for dunch. I say dunch because Thanksgiving is the only day of the year, where your feast may be at noon and you can call it dinner, really it's dunch.

On that same vein, I could not pry my wedding ring off yesterday because of all of the salt from the ham, and maybe the fat too. My mother has an interesting way of cooking. The grease from everything is poured back into everything and added to a pound of butter and bacon. You really could die just from looking at it.

After dunch, we parted ways and Laura went to her aunt's, and I went home to put up the outside lights. Laura's aunt has cats, that means I cannot be there. I hate putting the lights up, but it is necessary, I want the kids to remember we did that every year.

All the Christmas stuff, puts a lump in my throat.

Does anyone else have a problem typing the word "From"? I always type "Form"


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

1 Year Blogiversary

It has been one year since I started this blog. One of the reasons I decided to blog was to easily go back and see where I have come from and how I've grown over the year. I believe that if a year does not bring about any positive change in me, than something is off with my relationship with God. A lot of weird things have happened this year and I think I have grown so much in my relationship with God and with those that love me. Last year, I was distant from so many, I was so negative that I had a hard time seeing the positive in anything. This year, I am still negative, but a little better. I no longer look at people like they are trying to hurt me, which was something I really was dealing with. I am blessed more than ever. It has been a year of hard work for me, with tasks I have never had to stand up to until now. God has picked me up every time I have fallen. He has helped me out of the wilderness, starving and broken. I am not ashamed to live my life for Him, and to tell everyone that He is my comfort, He is my only strength, He is the reason I breathe. I have made new friends on here, which is really nice, because I can relate to so much that other people are going through and brave enough to write about. God bless you, the reader, and your families and have a nice year.

In honor of my 1 year blogging anniversary, here is my first post.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Burial Cake

Anyone ever heard of burial cake? I performed a burial service for a close friend Saturday and after the service at the reception, they had cake. I have heard of wedding cake, birthday cake, graduation cake, and retirement cake, but burial cake is a new one for me. I guess it is because the women who was buried was deeply in love with Jesus and everyone knew she really was happier now, so it was a celebration. For whatever reason, I like the idea of burial cake. So here is a short list of suggestions on how to expand this cake tradition.

Divorce Cake- Chocolate cake, with chocolate frosting filled with radishes in the filling.

Grizzly Bear Cake- For those who have become grizzly bears through their hard work. This one is made of meat and frosting. With a touch of an angels feather.

Constipation Cake- Filled with castor oil and topped with the Olestra stuff they put in the light potato chips.

Menopause Cake- Made purely from hormone supplements, hairnets, and Omega 3 fish oil (For the joints)

Last Place Cake- This one is sweeter than the rest (For added consolation) and filled with the blood of every person that did better.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Friday, November 21, 2008


Who am I?

Am I a Christian?
Am I an athlete?
Am I a father?
A Husband?
A friend?
An employee?
A son?
A brother?
A philanthropist?

I think the legacy we leave behind is the purpose of our existence. It is the way, we glorify God while we are here. There is a quote from a Dirt song that says "The rest is the mess you leave as you pass through." True. I think we all would love to make up our legacy filled with noble causes and devotion to that which is important to us, such as Christ for me. But am not as sure that our eulogies would say the same. Not sure I would love mine.

The issue I have with priorities is that our actual lives seldom match the priorities we have decided to be. A Christian, A family man, a friend. If I take some time and write down all I do, I do not think it often matches those priorities. Especially when I give God the not so lucid minutes of the day as I fall alseep in prayer. Am I putting God first in all things? No. Am I putting the family second? No. Friends third? Sometimes, but to often, no. It takes practice to live your priorities, to be sure that what you have done here is more than just the mess you leave. More than your negative impact on the world. I want people so say about me what I am about to say about a grandmother tomorrow at her burial. That I loved God more than anything in this world. That Heaven would not be Heaven without Jesus, and life is not worth it without him.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A Lesson In Tolerance

I have the crappiest luck ever.

Yesterday, my toothache became unbearable due to infection, so I was forced to go to the ER. I looked particularly stupid too because I found that the only even slight relief I got was when I was putting cold on it, but not too cold. So I was walking around with a straw in my mouth sucking in the cold air directly onto the tooth. I did not have the fortune of having a regular straw handy, so I had to use this Halloween one that whistled, so I went to the ER with a whistling straw. Obnoxious. I get there at 1 AM after being turned away by another ER due to long waits. This one had no one in the waiting room at all, so I was happy about that, except, I ended up waiting 2 hours in agony after passing out twice before ever even being triaged. I inquired, but got no answers. I was finally let in to the room and was treated by the doctor whom cleaned out the area by giving me 20 or so shots directly into the hurt gum and then sent home with Penicillin and Vicodin. All in all, the process took 3 and a half hours.

So then the drug store at 4:30 AM. 2 cars in the lot. 2 workers present. 1 crusty old man and 1 old woman. Once again, no wait, so yay. I turned in the script and the old man says, "Ok, be done in a half an hour." "What! A half an hour, why?" I inquire. "Got 16 people before you." I look around the ghost drugstore and see a tumbleweed blowing by. "Ok."

What is it about my luck? It was almost like someone wanted me to be in the most pain I have ever felt for the longest period of time I could handle. I could not for the life of me figure out whether God was trying to teach me patience, or pain tolerance. Anyways, the tooth is killing me, I got an emergency Root Canal today that the dentist assured would kill the pain, but here I am throbbing, and hungry, but cannot eat.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Gift Of Opening Up One's Stupid Mouth

I have a wonderful habit of making a fool out of myself in most situations. I don't know if it is a talent, a curse, or a Spiritual Gift from God, but it exists. Ask my wife. I am the guy that she cannot take anywhere. I have already told you about the "I like him so much, I want to fight him incident." There are so many stories of me saying the oddest thing that could be said in that particular moment. The other day, I was eating with my wife in a restaurant and we were talking about going on a diet. Laura said, "Does 20 pounds each sound good?" I said, "For you, not for me." I did not mean it how it sounds. I meant that if 20 pounds was what she wanted, I did not want the same. 20 pounds is too much for me because I do not want to reverse the last 2 years of work at the gym. I am not trying to be an idiot I assure you. My brain is an idiot. "I didn't say it, my brain said it" is what Caeden says when he says something similar. Like when he describes African Americans as chocolate people. I do that stuff too, so I am afraid this little "Gift" is hereditary.

On a side note, my tooth hurts. I had to miss church. Sorry Jesus.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I Want You More Than Life

I am at peace today. I had a rough day yesterday. I felt lonely all day, then kinda down. Last night I was laying in my bed praying and it felt good. It doesn't always feel good to pray. Sometimes it hurts. It isn't always comfortable to express yourself to an all knowing God. To try to explain experimentially what He already knows. Not easy always to admit what a complete underachieving idiot I have been. But other times, when I really need it, He feels there to me. I prayed and read some, then off to sleep.

I awoke a couple of hours later with this overwhelming feeling of peace. The house was quiet, my wife was sleeping next to me, the kids off in some dreamland somewhere I wish I could access. I opened my eyes and I thought, "I want you more than life." Probably because I heard it n a song earlier talking about some girl he later found out he needed like a hole in the head. But I meant it to God. Those words meant something. They carried weight for me. I have told God that a million times and meant it every time, but this time I meant it in a different way. Like when you are hungry after not eating for a few hours: You say, "I'm hungry." But the phrase has a whole new meaning if you haven't eaten for a week. It occurred to me in some spiritual way that I want God more than anything. I lay there awake for some time, not at all frustrated at not being able to sleep. If God wants to wake me up like this, and feel this way, do so every night. If He wants to speak louder than I can ignore Him, let Him talk my ear off, even if the things He is saying isn't what I want to hear because the feeling of hearing anything God has to say to me is joy to me.

I have felt my God closer than my skin all day.

May God touch you.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I was watching Heroes last night and one of the characters said something that I had learned in Biology, and based the name of this blog on. It is this really interesting fact about whales. Scientists were having such a hard time figuring out how these whales keep finding each other for mass migration in such a huge ocean. It was discovered when a biologist recorded the whales singing to each other in the wild and it occurred to them that the whales were not singing in captivity. I think this is interesting because it is universal. If you are doing bad in your walk with God, by bad, I mean, you are not making much effort in seeking Him. When we are struggling and living in rebellion, we fail to sing. It is because, we were not made to sin and rebel. It was sin and death that made that a constant struggle for us. When the Israelites felt distant from God, they made idols. We don't do much different, and it makes us feel far from God. In fact, when we live in rebellion, God isn't listening to us.

Is. 1:15 When you spread out your hands in prayer, I will hide my eyes from you; even if you offer many prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood;

Prov. 28:9 If anyone turns a deaf ear to the law, even his prayers are detestable.

When we make the choice to rebel from God, we get to learn what it is like to do things our way. That is the human condition, thus why we really need Jesus, with every cell in your bodies.

So when we rebel, we become unhappy. We fail to sing, because we are apart from what we were intended to be. It is when we come to God in dust and ashes and willing to submit, that He turns his face to us again. I struggle because I am so stubborn and proud sometimes. I want what I want and too often those things are not what God wants. So I throw myself a pity party and try to get back at God for not giving me what I wanted. The catch is, I am hurting myself when I do this.

I go through these bouts with depression that tempt me to get lazy and comfort myself with things that are not good for my Spirit, and leave out the things that are. Compound this depression now with the loss of clear communication with the fabric of my very being, and I cannot sing. I look at stories of how these terrible things happen to those that are faithful, yet they get on their faces and praise God. I need to practice this often because it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that God owes you something for choosing to follow Him. But the Bible says, He chose us. He died. He sacrificed. He had his flesh torn from His body. He was rejected. He rose again. He gave us His Spirit. God owes me nothing. If everything I love were taken from me. I deserve it. It is God that blesses us and takes things away and who are we to raise our fists to the air.

God desires us to sing though. And that is why the gifts, and the salvation, and the happiness and joy. Because of His desire to listen to us sing together and follow Him in migration to Himself.


™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Monday, November 10, 2008


My biggest hope is that this is not the way I go out. Laying there posing dead for a picture with two cow poke yokels standing over me grinning. I am not an anti-hunter, however, why would you want to kill a Grizzly Bear. Really. As a Grizzly Bear, I am appalled, as a human, I am pissed. I feel like the Caveman in the Geicko commercials. I do see the beauty in being there though. Not so much with the dead bear, but out in the woods hunting. I am planning a trip to Upper Canada in February with some friends to go winter camping. I can't wait. The website has a moose on the front page. I would love to see a moose in the wild. I want to get out of here for a minute and collect my thoughts, regroup. My life has been so busy that I feel like I can't breathe most days with stress and dread for the next day coming. It will be nice to go sleep outside in the cold and explore the wilderness.

Everyone needs a time in the wilderness I think. Jesus went to be tempted. To show the people and maybe himself at least on an experiential basis that we need God more than food, more than water, more than air. He threw off all He did not need, which was everything and submitted himself to His Father's Creation and the temptations of the evil one. I want that. I could do without the temptations, but need the wilderness. It is true that through suffering, we grow closer to Jesus. When we fast, our hunger and prayer brings us closer to Christ. When we sacrifice, we share in the sacrifice God made for us. When we dance, we dance for Christ without boundaries and inhibitions like David did. We become undignified and do not care, because of Christ. Living in constant chaos sometimes clouds my vision of Jesus and I need the wilderness to give me clarity, to remind me why I dance, and draw me to become even more undignified with every day.

For the poachers in the above picture. I will leave you with a warning below.

™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Ooh, Listen To That

So my little brother Andy found my blog and commented on the Deathstone band we made when we were kids and it got we to thinking about when we were little. I thought I would give you a brief history over our shared experiences:

1. We were almost abducted in a video store parking lot. The burglar was thwarted by my heads up rolling up of the window on his arm which he barely got free.
2. We ruled the "Balls" area of Chucky Cheese by holding other kids under for long periods of time.
3. I broke a kid's arm who picked on him when I was 12.
4. We ran away together to the woods overnight while sleeping in a tent in the backyard.
5. I had a crush on his mom, as did every other kid on the block.
6. We demolished his parents newly finished bathroom.
7. Made pee snow cones from his Snoopy Snow Cone machine and gave them to his sister and friends.
8. We made a back yard child fight club, and cornered the little kids as they beat each other up. (We were just kids too, so don't call the cops yet)
9. We started a neighborhood thug street gang, called The Brat Patrol, named after the movie.
10. We opened a fraudulent ninja training school, charging kids from the block $5 dollars for training. The training included them getting beat up and not being allowed to cry. Walking across the top beam of the swing set without falling. Pulling a knife on another kid. Saying bad words into a tape recorder (This was in case the kid tried to tell on us, we could show their parents their bad word tape). They would also have to endure a really bad day. This day was the day that everyone would be mean to them and exclude them from all fun activities. If they survived the day without crying, they would move up a belt. We taught them moves we made up and holds to put people in that were based off of WWF. We made money, they got training, it was a win/win for everyone.

Oh and I forgot to mention the song we had in Deathstone called "Listen to That." In the song, one solitary note would be plucked on the guitar, and we would say after a dramatic pause, "Ooh, listen to that." That was the whole song.

™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Amish Furniture

One of those days. You wake up and the world hates that you exist. There was more traffic than usual and I hit all of the red lights. My son took forever to get ready for school. I decided that I was not going to let my running a little late give me a bad day, so I stopped at Starbucks thinking I had enough time, however, after I paid it took 15 minutes for the coffee to get made because the forgot to make it or something. So I was late. I just felt lonely today. One of the challenges of working outside of an office is the amount of time I spend working in solitude. It wears on you sometimes and makes me want to answer sales calls just to talk to someone. I bet I could hear a lot more people wish they had my gig because of all of the annoying people they work with, but for now, this is my blog. You go write your own about that stuff. On the upside I got to talk online to a friend who is overseas in Afghanistan fighting Al Quada. It was nice, I haven't heard from him in a while and have been praying for his safety. God has kept him alive, so I am happy. Turned my day around. Now I have to study for an exam which sucks.

I leave you with a verse.

Jeremiah 23:28 "The prophet who has a dream, let him tell a dream; And he who has my word, let him speak my word faithfully. What is the chaff to the wheat?" Says the Lord. "Is not My word like a fire?" Says the Lord. "And a hammer that breaks the rocks to pieces."

Whatever God has given you, do it in the name of Christ for His glory. He are a gifted people all over this country, give those gifts in service for God. The Amish believe that in everything they do with their hands, any work that they do so before God. They are right, thats why we buy their furniture. Let's be like the Amish

™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Time For The Apologies

My tantrum is over now. Whatever. Here are the positives about Barack Obama:
1. I like that he is African American. I think it speaks volumes about the racial state of our country, it is not as bad as it sometimes seems, and it is a huge advancement in the stereotype that racist whites have against black people, being he is a successful, intelligent, and powerful minority. 2. I like that he did not come from a super rich, elitist family that has no real idea what it means to be a real live average human living in tough times. 3. He has an incredible PR team. (Ok the last one was a bit backhanded)

Death count in Zombies tirade:
2 crusty old women who took too long to put their change away after they finished their transaction at the bank drive-thru.
1 Horse who gave me the stink eye
17 Canadian mounties, one of whom were riding the horse that gave me the stink-eye.
1 sheep
2 goats
1,000 cats, just because.

To all the of the families of those I harm. I AM SORRY.

™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Typical Embittered Post Election Day Rant

The election didn't go the way I wanted and prayed it would. So what? It is common right now for people who are happy with the outcome to be happy and ask for the country to unite together. And it is common for those who were not happy with the outcome to make a choice to trust in God that everything is going to be OK for America. I want to unite with the other side, but I won't agree with abortion. Ever.

I am hopeful and full of faith that God will always take care of His people. I believe that and would go to the grave for that, however did God ever say America was going to be OK? When Israel acted rebelliously, did God look past and prosper the nation? No, there was considerable punishment. The kind that forced parents to eat their own children. I would say that the eating of children is not too far off from what our future administration seems to want to legislate. I have hope in what God will do ultimately in His people and in that sense I am at peace. However, if He does not put His hand into the situation (Which He does not always do) this nation will see new types of brutality on the unborn. Embryos fertilized and then "harvested" for the sake of a science that they have never proven any benefit from (That being that the stem cells from the unborn being any more useful than those of an adult). Failed abortion abortions, partial birth abortions. I do think that God has called us to freak out over loss of life, especially the lives of children. Or maybe the abortionist Christians think that they are interpreting the scriptures right that when Jesus says, "Let the little children come to me" He meant directly, before life has ever begun. Don't get me wrong, I believe those Christians that voted for Obama love God just as much as those that didn't, but I just don't get it. When did the economy become more important than human life? So today I will be one of the "Angry bloggers out there, who are bitter and ready to throw up their fists at society."

On the positive side, the throwing up the fists thing is a great way to raise awareness about abortion. I am going to work harder, and speak louder. Because this administration will be working harder to further "Abortion rights" as if we ever had the right to kill someone. Change is here, but I am not sure it is the change we need, maybe the change we think we want, but probably not the change we need.

God has this in control, I know that well. However, that does not always mean that He will hold back disaster, or that He will not bring down the gavel of judgment on a idolatrous and rebellious nation.

But as for me, and my house, we will serve the Lord.

™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Father of the Year

In response to Rockstar's Blog claiming the Father of the Year crown. I would like to throw my hat into the race with this little piece of parenting genius.

In the posted picture, what you are seeing is Aevry careening down the big slide at Java Jungle because we thought it would be a good idea. Our philosophy, throw her down it and she will get used to it and not be afraid of anything. Click on the picture and blow it up and notice the finger nails trying to dig into the plastic on the slide.

™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Prescription Ink Pens

I am looking at an ink pen and remembering how badly it hurt to write things down by hand. I used to write with my hands into journals. I like typing better, only when are drug companies going to start giving out free keyboards with their logo on them? My wife works with doctors everyday, rich ones that drive BMW's and think they can get younger, prettier girls than they usually would be able to. Well, she comes home with all of these ink pens with different drugs on them. In fact I think it is impossible to find a pen without a drug on it. So I want to jot down a phone message, I get a constant reminder from Viagra of what I have to look forward to. Well probably not me. But I don't like looking at it anyways, especially since so many of the drugs are bad for you to take in the first place. I was on a heart medication, that's main side effect was stroke. Now why would I want choose a stroke over a heart attack? Both suck equally. I saw a medication for a stomach ache and it's main side effect was brown, oil, anal discharge. I will take the stomach ache thank you very much. If I had to look at these poor quality pens while writing down things that are lengthy, I don't think I would keep a record of "Feelings" anymore. I would simply be less sensitive, more of the guy you can't quite read, so avoid. That guy sucks, but it would be better than the pain my hand feels when writing things down.

™Zombiehaven 2008. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Found this coupon on the Illinois Abortion Clinic Website. You can now get $20 off your next abortion, so no worries, just come on in. I sometimes really really hate this country.

Special Online Discount

Print this page and present at any Member Center


$20.00 off your 1st visit

Courtesy of:

Illinois Abortion Clinics Online

™Zombiehaven 2007. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.


Halloween isn't what it used to be. It is for babies now. I was little and remember trick or treating all night. It was 11 PM once and I was still going door to door waking people up and filling up an entire pillow case, not just some dumb little pumpkin bucket delivered by "The Man" to keep us down. But here are the pictures anyways. That's what holidays and vacations are all about right: The pictures?

™Zombiehaven 2007. All ideas and photos are copyrighted under Zombiehaven. Anything used from this site, must have written permission.