Thursday, October 30, 2008

Rock and Roll Is From The Devil

Remember in the 80's when every day was Halloween? They all wore make-up and zombie torn clothes. I specifically remember cutting holes in my new jeans so I could look like the lead singer of Def Leppard in the video for "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I remember looking at Poison's first cd "Look What The Cat Dragged In" and thinking that there was a hot girl on the cover. Not even knowing the drummer was a guy who really made a hot girl. (See Below)

I was not unfortunately allowed to listen to such bands due to their obvious Satan Worship and desire to have me kill myself, so I had to enjoy in secret via dubbed tapes that had titles to Christian singers on the label, but sent forth some fierce drum beats and mind splitting guitar solos. Play them backwards and you may be told to kill someone, but forwards, they were golden. The day Striper came out and took the Christian music scene by storm, my mom was put on full alert by those in the church. "Rock and roll is the devil's music, whether sung by false prophets or Satan himself." I was banned from this as well. What was I supposed to do now? All avenues for me to rock out were stripped from me. So I started my own 80's metal band (Back then it wasn't called 80's metal, it was just metal) We called the band, wait for it......................................................................................................................................

Deathstone. We were the real deal Holyfield. We wrote our first song called "PoopStain" in my garage and set off on a whirlwind tour of our block. Our next single hit the charts with limited success called "My Comedies" and it was a rap rock song. I was way before my time, predating Limp Bizcuit, and Korn. This song didn't go over real well, due to the amount of profanities flying from the mouth of a 4th grader, but those that knew music, look to us as the saviors of the 80's. Remind me to tell you about the second time I revolutionized rock and roll with a band called "Objects Of Wrath."

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  1. You can not tease everyone with Objects of Wrath stories and not put a little sample.

    "This temples going up in smoke"

  2. Awesome. If you were stuck listening to the Christian set, your rap/rock combination might have sounded like a cross between DC Talk and Petra, no?

    Long live Deathstone

    Long live PoopStain

  3. Man I remember thinking the same thing when Poison came out! I was just waiting on someone else to say it. I was not a Christian during the wondrous 80's so I got to listen to it all.

    Lets see some of my old band names from back in the day:

    Antidote: This was a rock cover band with a guy who could do AC/DC like nobody's business but not so much when trying to cover Poison... Man I wish I had a recording of that version of Talk Dirty to me.

    WorkHouse: Mostly original band in the vein of The Church, Cure kinda groove.

    Catacomb: This was a hardcore, punk rock, speed metal, kinda thing... Only filled in a couple times for their normal bass player.

    Christian Bands
    Seventh Angel: Not very good christian rock

    Brotherly Love: Cool kinda southern rock, Christian band.

    TwentyFourSeven: This was Brotherly Love minus one brother who left to be a pastor

    I wont get into all the ridiculous hair styles I had during that time... Maybe another post

  4. Agree with the dogg, those chicks are whitesnake hot

  5. "Poopstain".... that is sheer genius my friend.

    I thought that photo was a picture of me and my friends from back in the day.

  6. OOPS. That last comment was from ME... not the rockstar!

  7. Thank you for clarifying or I would have looked dumberer than usual

  8. Are you calling me dumb?

    That would really be a bad thing to do. The couch may have a friend tonight.

  9. Our band Deathstone rocked!!!! Did you write this after checking my new myspace music page? If not, that is weird we wrote things about the old songs and band around the same time! I love you!