Thursday, October 9, 2008
Let's Play Pretend
I think I missed the milestone you reach when you stop pretending and making up fake scenarios in your head about things. I live as if there were someone watching, I know God is, but I mean I live shallowy (if that is a word) like as if someone is watching. I make sure I am always dressed at home and in the car, I imagine being watched. I think there is a fine line between imagination and schizophrenia here. I will make up scenarios and they are usually scenarios involving the worst things, like if I died or my whole family died. It is weird, and sometimes I fake crying in the mirror to see what I would look like if I lost it. I play video game football and in the dynasty mode, I actually have a commentary on the games running in my head and it last well into the night after have put down the controller and go to bed, I call this time the post game, where I field questions and take criticisms from the fake media. I have fake arguments with those that oppose me, and get to say all of the things Jesus would disprove of, which is a lot. What kinds of things do you pretend?
I'm a simple person to figure out. I usually write it all down here. I try not to pretend to be anything. I am what I am and that's good enough until it's not anymore. I want my kids to remember me smiling when I'm gone. Integrity is the very basis of a good life. I love my God, my wife, my kids, my friends, and I try to love all of the rest of you.