Tuesday, September 16, 2008
A Moment Of Clarity
I had a moment of perspective today. I have been struggling through some pretty stressful things and on top of those things I did just OK on a test that I studied my face off for the last week today. I have been pretty stressed lately to go along with this seasonal depression I am going through, so I went to the river. That's where I go when I need some air, it is the Detroit River, so it isn't very good air, but it is different air. You need different air to get different ideas sometimes. So I go all moping around and praying, trying to figure out what is to be learned from this and I got an answer immediately. A sea gull flew from the handrail I was leaning on and snagged a fish right with precision accuracy right before my eyes. It was beautiful. It made me thing that there may be tests, there may be people who oppose you, there may not be enough time to do all you need to do, but that bird will still be plucking things out of that water. It is instinct, and it is a tool given to them by God to survive. I have tools too, things God has given me and still plans to give me. It was just a test, they are just people too like me, and that bird will keep snagging fish from that water whether or not I see it happen, because that is what it does. Well survive is what I do. I survived a heart attack, a suicide attempt, and many other things because of God. I will continue to survive for as long as God wants me to survive.
I'm a simple person to figure out. I usually write it all down here. I try not to pretend to be anything. I am what I am and that's good enough until it's not anymore. I want my kids to remember me smiling when I'm gone. Integrity is the very basis of a good life. I love my God, my wife, my kids, my friends, and I try to love all of the rest of you.