Monday, August 11, 2008

The Cell From The Outside

It is easy to see God as this loving father, who while we deserve all the pain and sorrow we can et dished on us, continues to pour out his love for us faithfully giving us what we don’t deserve. Like children who have made many mistakes over and over again, he continues to gently discipline us, showing us the right path and the reasons not to choose the wrong one again. It is also just as easy to see God as a god who desires forgiveness, but continues to hold us under water with the curse of sin. I try and try to do the right thing, to live perfectly or at least live well for Him yet at the end of the day when I lay my head down on that pillow, I am still guilty in my heart. I didn’t do well enough, I didn’t live as a sacrifice, I thought too much of myself, I wrote my foolishness and shame on this blog for anyone so see. I killed people with my words, even those that I love the most. I fell into the temptations the world waved in my face. I killed with words, I corrupted with my hands. I lusted with my eyes. I have stolen with my pride. I go to sleep guilty every night, then wake and do it again. I think this is the mind set that a lot of people struggle with. I know I do. Living in the freedom God has given is not as easy as it should be. A prisoner gets set free without bail, without further guilt and he walks outside of that cell and can’t leave it behind. He has no idea what to do with his freedom he has been in chains for so long. So he commits more crime to go back to jail where he is comfortable. I think I sin because it is more comfortable to me to be in chains, at least in my mind. The truth is sin is paid for by Christ’s blood...completely. Why is this such a hard concept for the church to accept. We want to argue over dogma and religions and what is sin and what is not, yet we forget the freedom God has granted us. He is not an unforgiving God who holds us down in this curse. He did away with the curse. He asks us simply to believe to accept that gift. But still we find reasons to make it harder than it has to be.
I wonder all of the time what Jesus meant when He said, His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I have never seen this life. All I have known of faith is the fight. I have never known the easy part and I think the easy part is that we really do not have sin as a problem. I haven’t known the easy part because I haven’t accepted the easy part. It is just too easy to try and chain myself down. This makes me sad at the myself and sad at the world that hates me, and sad for everyone else who struggles to accept that Jesus closed the cell doors with us on the outside and we are free.



  2. off topic discussion!!!

    Chain mail!!!! I HATE CHAIN MAIL!!!!!! WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE AND THEIR stinking CHAIN MAIL!!! LEAVE ME ALONE WITH IT!!!!!!!! Is it supersition? Do they really think all their dreams will come true if they send it to ten people? Or they will lose someone they love if they don't? The one I just got said "God plans to give you a miracle at 11:33 pm but only if you forward this to 10 people". Hmmm.... I say. So God has gone high tech? I don't know, so far the miracles he's given me didn't involve my cell phone. Two of them (miracles) involved the love of the best wife in the world, nine months and then ten hours of labor. I don't remember chain mail, email, or text messages with hopes of his blessing. Thank God that he creates many of us with common sense. But, here is what I think. Over my last 30+ years, I've recieved a few of these emails/chain letters. This is the first text. What I think is that in almost all of them, the person responsible was quite superstitious and feared more of the bad luck by (not) seding it out to ten people and had hopes of a million dollars in a lotto ticket on his/her next trip to the party store. Funny, mega millions is drawn tonight? The sender of the one I've just received is my hair lady. Now, this is a girl whom I chat with once a month. So for my repeat business she acts as though I'm her favorite client. I'm not dumb, I know why she's nice to me. She wants me back. She wants my friends to come. I'm not saying she's a bad person. I like her. She does a swell job with my hair, but c'mon? What I think this all boils down to, and it's no different than any other chain letter sent to me. I was one of her last ten people that she felt so distant from, that she could care less about if I was mad at her sending it to me. I don't think anyone would send it to their mom, grandma, sister, brother, girl friend, boyfriend, or that someone specail you're trying to impress. No, you send it the the person you could care less if they like you or not. I'm not sending it to ten people. I'm not sending it to one person. I'm gonna count all my blessings and be thankful that they still come analog instead of digital.

    //The player to be named later//

  3. oh, at 2:30 am tonight, call 25 of your closest friends and relatives and all your wildest dreams will come true. Seriously, this really works. Serious! Do it! Really! Don't think about it, just do it!

    //fathers against chain mail//

  4. Awesome post. Awesome. Awesome. I had to say that 3 times to really get the point across.