Monday, May 19, 2008

The Heroes Are Crowned In Thorns

“Would you discredit my justice? Would you condemn me to justify yourself? God said this to Job in response to all of his questioning about God's unfairness. We often look over all of the beautiful things God has done to hammer Him on the things that He has allowed as if we had nothing to do with them. I make a lot of mistakes. I really do. Some things could have destroyed me. I was a father in high school and missed out on college because of it, so I am going now. Is that my fault or God's? I was abandoned by my father before my birth. Did God do that or did my father. The holocaust killed millions of people, did God kill those people or did people? Did God send the cyclone to burma to kill almost a hundred thousand people? Did He shale the ground that killed 15,000 in China? Or were those things also the consequence of a world that is dying from sin, just like we are? Yet God send so many to help us, to love us, to help us develop and see His love and mercy. I look back and God sent me some people who allowed me to see genuine love that I would never forget about. But do I always focus on that, no. I focus on the bad things that people and I myself have done to myself. I am a victim of my own sin and yet, I point the finger at God. I may not yell at God and vocalize it, but If I take a hard and honest look at myself, I do blame God in the way I carry myself. I want to play the victim when bad things happen, but I am no victim, I am the criminal. Job was not the victim, he was the criminal just like the rest of us. Yet God, in His faithfulness is at work here everyday. I have shed tears, and that had caused God to shed tears. Sometimes I end up shedding more, sometimes He wipes them clean. I am ashamed of who I am, to my very core today. Yet I thank God that He doesn't see me as I see me, and I think He wants me to.


  1. "I am not victim, I am the criminal" That is very strong and powerful words my friend. Great Post.

    Oh, and stand strong with the school thing. All the degrees in the world mean nothing, but what you will prove to yourself when you complete this path will mean everything. God bless you on your journey.

  2. "I may not yell at God and vocalize it" are SO ahead of me then cause I go right ahead and scream away....and then I wonder how He could possibly still love me?
    My pastor once told the story of how he was sitting in his car one day lamenting the course his life had taken (deaths and illnesses) and asking God the ultimate question..."why Me?"...and he said in that moment the still small voice of his loving God said to him...."why not?"

    good post, you made me think today (and usually I try to avoid that:)