Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Tomorrow Is Better, But Today Is Ok
A title of a song I am listening to right now and it makes we want to weep violently while screaming, "I did my best," those that like Dane Cook will understand that. During the aforementioned funk I had been in I was dealing with this notion, actually I had adopted this notion that Christianity was all about keeping to oneself, and being a loving and kind person, and caring for other people in a totally silent and non-judgmental way. I had it in my head that I would just go about my business only selling what people were asking for, and I use commercial terms because the world does when sharing your faith and love with others is concerned. If students came to Liquid, I would show them Jesus, some might say sell them Jesus, but they would be wrong. Church was a good avenue to peddle my faith, but not anywhere it wasn't expected. I know it is dumb, I see that now, but then to me it looked like people were not going to respond to obnoxious Christians telling them what the meaning of life is, you could say selling them happiness, but you would be wrong. Truth be told, I was lazy and wasn't very happy, so it is hard to throw on the Jesus A-game when I am not really feeling it myself, maybe I really didn't fully believe it then, some would say I definitely didn't believe it then, and they would be right. I hadn't figured out how to live in the freedom I have been given by God. And because I couldn't figure out it's meaning, I chose to live in the bondage of sin and in misery. My wife will say that this post is sad, like she did my last one, but she would be wrong. It isn't sad at all because it took me seeing what freedom in Christ wasn't to realize what it was, it is freedom. I don't have to be sad, I don't have to live like I was, I don't have to pretend and play the clown. I can be Adam living for Jesus and doing so in a not so casual manner. Because just over the course of a couple of months, God has taught me or reminded me that knowing Him is not at all casual, and that people go about casually killing each other every day. What the world needs now is radical love, not in the way of screaming and yelling at people, but in the way of going out of my way for people, doing things for people unexpectedly, just because I love them, because I really do love them, not because I feel it to be a ritual or duty, but because God has given me joy, and eyes, and ears to hear people weeping. There is a lot of hurt in the world and not a lot of love, that is where God's people come in, in a not so casual style, we are aliens, but not the kind that want to destroy the planet, but the kind that were in the Abyss, or the Undead, the kind of aliens that mean to help the world, and in my case, help people by pointing them to God.
I'm a simple person to figure out. I usually write it all down here. I try not to pretend to be anything. I am what I am and that's good enough until it's not anymore. I want my kids to remember me smiling when I'm gone. Integrity is the very basis of a good life. I love my God, my wife, my kids, my friends, and I try to love all of the rest of you.