Sunday, December 9, 2007
God Still Loves Me
I am tired. It is only 11:45 PM and at this time I am usually calling a friend to come and watch a movie to keep me from feeling lonely. I do not go to bed like the majority of smart people on a Sunday night. I sit up. Doing nothing at all interesting, just thinking, playing a game, reading, whatever. Tonight is different, tonight I feel God. Tonight it isn't about entertainment, which I spend too much time doing in my free time, it is about getting really close to God. Leaving behind the foolishness and selfish greed. It is about looking into His world, and trying to see through His eyes. I have always had a low self opinion. I have never really seen the value in myself, that is why I talk about myself so much. I write a blog under the cloak of expressing myself, but I think in reality, I do it make myself feel better about myself. The truth is, I am not who I say I am, I don't think that anyone is. We have this perception of what we want to be and we roll with it, never questioning whether it is really who we are or what glorifies God. God desires us to be us, even when that means we are ugly inside and out. God loves us regardless of out faults and insecurities and for that, tonight, I thank Him.
I'm a simple person to figure out. I usually write it all down here. I try not to pretend to be anything. I am what I am and that's good enough until it's not anymore. I want my kids to remember me smiling when I'm gone. Integrity is the very basis of a good life. I love my God, my wife, my kids, my friends, and I try to love all of the rest of you.